I lost my best friend to the decision we made long past – to gamble such a one of a kind friendship for a love we thought we could survive. We made a pretty long run for it, and all seven years of giving up and fighting for it again, gone now and not a piece of that past seems repairable. Like every broken piece could only hurt.
I am uncertain as to what point I have for writing this. What’s undeniable though is that I miss my best friend [badly] and it hurts to realize that time, and perhaps all of the universe, has buried our friendship that was witness to a very lovely story in the past. I wish we could talk again the way we did, without inhibitions, just frank, but with hugs kept ready in case one had to cry or lose temper.
It’s safe to say that I was everything to my best friend and I liked it, only that I had most of my decisions shadowed by fears, hesitations, and my unacceptance of the reality I was faced with. I lost grip, gave up, and left my best friend fighting alone for nothing. I loved my best friend but this was often tainted with my doubts about the future, our future. I used to imagine it but each time I did, I would end up losing engine at a crossroad; from there I would stop. I chose to.
Now, what more could I ask for my best friend than the happiness deserved. I didn’t stand for what my best friend was fighting for. So maybe this time I could do good in wishing well.
I hope you are happy now. If we meet again one day, you might never hear the same words I used to say. You just have to remember that I loved you in some special way.