Quarter Life Crisis on the Brighter Side

…and finally.

It’s been a fairly lengthy layover since my last post and it feels awesome [and a bit strange?] to be back! I’m sorry to disappoint myself though [and if anyone else] that nothing much has happened except for at least four vivid and vague circumstances:

  1. I am now officially a slave of my corporate designation, which I kind of expected.
  2. It took me by gigantic surprise that my very good old friend, who’s been away for like 13 years, came knocking on my quarter life door and asking me out to explore possibilities of spending time together for like a period of forever.
  3. And just when we were about to kill the annoying distance between us, like a hemisphere far, he went –errr– gone?
  4. I’m turning 25 next week, be officially vested with the rights and responsibilities of womanhood – and I’m taking it like a severely ridiculous joke.

ButΒ how does it feel to be turning 25 anyway? Ha, the same question I asked this very good old friend slash short-time long distance lover. I never got the answer anyway…’cause that was supposed to be discussed on mornings over coffee. Which never happened. Don’t ask why. So I’ll try to answer it for myself at least. And I thought I wasn’t going to talk about turning 25 here. Gah!

Default feeling – scary. “Both scary and exciting,” so to complete the cliche. I have been swayed to believe by whatever force that those are somewhat “required” emotions from anyone experiencing QLC (quarter life crisis). Otherwise, you will be thought of as someone who doesn’t care about plans, timelines, goals; doesn’t care that you’re not getting any younger and you could be exhausting your life span anytime soon. But the question is, is the pressure @#$%^&* real?

Precious YES. For myself at least. Career. Education. Relationships. Acquired skills. “Nice” hobbies. Lifestyle. Health. Promotions. Degrees. A place to call yours. A car to drive. Engagement. Wife, husband. Family. Kids. Investments. Insurance. And the list just goes on and on, you surely know. Drives you nuts!

But then, of course, I make my escape from the mental and emotional riot, especially when all these are becoming inhumanly overwhelming. As if it’s torture, yea? Well, believe me, if you don’t handle these thoughts well, they can do for you a bloody imaginary hemorrhage.

On a more serious note [and this popped up just now], to be turning 25, for me, is taking advantage of this little time to recap, reevaluate, and reorganize your plans if necessary.

  1. Recap – How has life been since the farthest past you can recall? What did you do with your 25 years? How did you do coming along through all these years?
  2. Reevaluate – So, you think you made the right turns, right decisions so far? Did your decisions make way for you to a better future life? Were you right at choosing this and that person to let go?
  3. Reorganize plans – If necessary, why not? Plans are plans, not curses you sold your soul for. If you realize you suck at making life decisions, ask for help. I swear you will die bored figuring your own life all by yourself. You need your family, friends, and perhaps a few more strangers to mess up your life a bit more. LOL! If you realize you’ve hurt someone, don’t go on pretending like you aren’t feeling guilty at all. Pick up your phone or drop a message. A sincere “I’m sorry” won’t bite. Right, it’s not easy but it’s not like you’ve got to find the end of infinity first before you say it.

And all that I’m saying to myself as well. πŸ™‚ Those three Rs (recap, reevaluate, reorganize) make me shiver, at the same time, giddy – scared and excited. Well, that’s how it is I guess. Life is meant to be imperfect, otherwise it’s just one monotonous …boring… something. So embrace yourself for who you have become – either you celebrate it or forgive and make peace with yourself. Acknowledge your being part of a universal system and be grateful that you’re a part of it. The universe doesn’t exclude anyone nor anything. In fact, we don’t have a choice but to join it, dead or alive. You know, no one is given the right to be so alone.

So how do I conclude how it is to be turning 25? Well –[thinking]– I’d say, “I’m throwing one helluva grandiose party and the universe is my crowd.” πŸ˜‰

Oh yes, you are cordially invited!


See ya! Love,

Quarter Life Crisis on the Brighter Side

Goodnight World!

Isn’t it very frustrating to just feel the keyboard of your laptop, your fingers wanting to type in beautiful words you just can’t find, then you end up telling how you feel about that instead? Like what I’m saying now. πŸ˜€

Nothing really. Just wanted to drop by and try some brain-teaser in hopes of coming up with something sensible to talk about but —errr—clearly, my brain is NR. As in “no reaction.”

So let me wish you all goodnight and sweet dreams. Tomorrow, may my brains find some sense in thinking. Otherwise, that’s bad news for me. Haha!

Goodnight wishes with love, Ayna πŸ˜‰

Goodnight World!

Careless Perfectionist

I took a personality test administered by my sister, who is neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, but who is fond of reading people’s personalities. About a hundred attitudinal statements and situations to be rated according to frequency. In short, my test results said that I am magical, and more of adventurous, and that I am mostly perfectionist. The negative equivalent is that I am a schizo, more of an ADHD patient, and mostly obsessive-compulsive. The OC. And I was like…me? OC? And from there, I concluded that personality tests are not that reliable. Or so I believe.

Let me explain. From beginning, whensoever it was, and until further notice, I’ve never seriously considered myself as ze OC. I mean, my goodness, it’s a hell of a news to my brother when I get to fold my blanket or my clothes in my dresser, or at least align my shoes among theirs. And then that test telling me I’m 99% OC. Uhmmm…?????????? I’m sorry? πŸ˜€

But something happened at work today and while I was making my way home and even until now, I am restless about the mistake I made. Revenue computation. So I’m now as restless as a bunny aware of my sneaky “snakey” predator posing in a corner lusting over the shape of my meat.

I realized that…this is the cliche part of every blog post. Hehehe. πŸ™‚ There, I realized that I am indeed a perfectionist just a little too late in employing that perfectionist in me. Because now, the question that’s breaking my skull is, “Why…why…why the hell did it go wrong?” Why did I allow that? How come I didn’t do double-checking, triple-checking?Β Where and when did I make the wrong turn? The self-questioning goes on and on, so I’m wondering what time I can manage to sleep tonight. Gah.

Careless perfectionist, then. A perfectionist in the sense that I imagine everything to be perfect, at best, no wrongs, no mistakes; everything to be pretty neat. But then, ironically, I am not careful enough to bring things to their perfect state. I hurry a lot, cutting that very fine line between perfection and failure. I expect the best of things without seriously taking the precautions. I want perfection, only that I am careless enough to miss it.

So there. One thing I’ve got to ponder on, accept and resolve.

What I’m trying to share here is that, simply humans as we are, we have the right to that imperfection embedded in our being humans. But we can at least wish for perfection, give at least a bit of a try to be our best, be more careful not merely to dodge the dangers of the wrongs, but to work for self-improvement, self-discipline, and great things like that.

Goodness gracious, that didn’t sound like me. Thus, it’s good thing I wrote this post for me to have something to go back to and learn from this whosoever self I have right now. πŸ˜€

Alright. That’s all. Goodnight and may the blessings of perfection be ever in our favor.

Careless Perfectionist

Recycling Coke’s Plastic Bottle

Recycling Coke's Plastic Bottle

Just before I almost decided to throw the plastic bottle of Coke, I got slapped with a brilliant, artistic idea!

1. Cut the bottle in half. Use the half with the bottom part.
2. Cut into strips; stop halfway to the bottom.
3. Burn/Melt the strips with lighted candle, but don’t “over-burn.”
4. When heated, the strips bend this and that way, so better observe with the first few strips.
5. Once you’ve shaped it to how you desired it to look like, wash and wipe.

That’s all. πŸ™‚