I often catch myself wanting to do certain things. Read a novel and escape my world through a page-turning story. Dance like I never had bones. Sing while imagining myself the diva on stage. Write about stupid thoughts or about a movie I just watched. Sketch a new design of a wedding gown. Eat. Pray. Love. Eat again! But there’s one thing, way simpler than all the rest, which I now long to do. I want to walk. And I think I need it now.
But I’m not a no-life, friggin’ busy person who badly needs a grand vacation to unload a crippling heap of stress. Quite honestly, I have a wealth of time at my disposal. So it’s not the stress from work I want to dance away; rather, the dullness of the moment, too prolonged, it’s now suffocating.
I need a walk for many simple reasons. I want to stretch my legs, strain them a bit, collect a few muscle cramps. I want to feel my skin slightly burning under a gentle heat, squint for a little longer, get tired later. I want to feel my unsteady weight on my feet, sweat a little, gain some pain on my heels. No, I don’t intend to hurt myself like a masochist. It’s just a walk after all. 🙂
What I want is to remind myself of everything that exists around me. Because this dullness is a huge cloud of blur hiding away everything I’ve always believed to be wonderful. I need a walk to regain my focus on every little detail of every little thing. I need to find beauty in this madness.
And a good walk could cheer up my breathing, give my lost thoughts a lead to follow, keep my senses busy, give my heart so much to adore about this world, this life. I want to go home, run to the sunrise peeking at the east, walk along the farm road surrounded by all shades of green, bury my feet under brown sand and wash them with the little waves running up the shore. I want to go home and sit with a couple of dogs down the beach, watch kids flap their short extremities, learning to swim, praise those small town skimboarding champs, and then wait for Helios to set at the southern tip of the island I’ve always loved.
Because I need to remind myself that it’s a beautiful life in a beautiful world. That I may worry about some other things, about questions I need answers to, about what’s going on. That life may be a little too strange at times, a little too unpredictable and perhaps nasty. I’m going to need a walk because I need to remember how to rejoice in all the graces God has given this world, how to celebrate for all the bridges crossed, and how to be simply happy with just a truly grateful heart. 🙂
I’m going to need a walk soon, and I pray I won’t be alone. 🙂