I must be often a little too privy to this love I have, but now. Because I’m listening to this old love song (titled After All), and it tickles my lips to a sweet content smile while tears are rushing [honestly] to the brink, HaHaHa. 😀
I’m not gonna let you hear this, not now. Let’s just hope you’ll find these words when they’re most beautiful.
I’ve been smiling a lot, y’ [don’t] know, despite “the facts”, despite myself, despite everything that has gone wrong in my life. I’m betting you don’t completely understand how that has to do so much with you, but I really wish I could thank you enough. Crazy, but almost everything around me pushes my thoughts to you; brings me to smile in a way only the thought of you could shape. Sounds “high-schoolish”, doesn’t it? HaHaHa. I think so, too, but alongside realizing that I couldn’t help thanking God for entrusting (I don’t wanna say this, but here it goes…LOL) “my heart” to (and I wouldn’t say “a man like you” because the next word is definite)…you.
You said you don’t want me sad. I believe I’ve been obedient; I’ve always caught myself smiling carelessly even when I wash the dishes, do my laundry, read my novel, or when I write…like now. 🙂 Even when I’m in the toilet [just honestly]. My life, as of now, is definitely not at its prettiest, but you’ve come to be its irony.
I couldn’t find the most beautiful words to tell you how much I thank you. (Did I just say something cliche? HaHaHa) So, let me say it in a way no words are necessary. It’s not gonna be hard to understand. You’ll catch it when you find yourself smiling back at me.
Sure, there’s a sensical point in not having to mourn over and regret the mistakes we’ve made, the intentional ones especially. But whatever the point is, it kind of bothers me. Do we really NOT have to regret them?
I don’t know. Only that I’ve come to realize that it’s somehow scary to not regret your mistakes at all. It’s like you never fear them – not even for once – nor the possibility of committing them again.
I understand, we don’t want to regret the bad days that accounted for the lessons we had to learn from our pasts. It would seem like brushing off the morals we’ve gained from the shame and the blame. Or like cursing the selves we’ve become after pulling it through the acceptance of our mishaps and misdeeds.
But personally, I’d rather regret my mistakes. Not immediately; perhaps just after every one of them has pressed its sensical point into me.
And perhaps, that’s what we’ve been meaning to say: we don’t regret our mistakes for what we learned from them. “Experience is the best teacher,” they say. But if we come to the point where we’d decide not to do the same mistakes, we must have regretted them and have learned to fear them, that we wouldn’t want anything to do with those mistakes again.
We do curse our mistakes and we even fear them, I believe so. Only that we don’t have to regret them right at the start because we have to squeeze out the lessons first. But again, eventually, we will have to regret them because we have to fear them, because we don’t want to do them again.
No biggie! This is just how I feel about my biggest mistake, and I think I just got the hang of regretting it. 😉
Got snap shots of the view from the car, while “kind of” time traveling-slash-daydreaming there at the backseat. Poor photos, I wish I shared them via e-mail, not via OSN sites. Anyway, I thought I just have to share these along-the-way sights. (I sure hope they’re good enough for viewing despite…the fact. HeHeHe)
I loved “the feeling”, like I was right between the rural and the urban, between the lively fields and the asphalt road of the unending express way. I knew then I was imagining things and all like crazy but that was exactly how the view struck me – like a dreamworld, yay! 😀
The greenery, I swear, was a huge treat to my not-so-healthy eyes. But it made me sad though that my photography skills and my phone camera missed out on the most beautiful frames I could have captured. How? Well, every view was passing quite quickly before my slow shutter, and each of them got me pretty frozen in awe just before I could push the button! Good thing, my photographic memory has always served me well.
You’d probably ask what’s so stunning about that view from the car. There’s the bad thing. I wasn’t able to take pictures of the seas of white pampass grass. The white fields of pampass grass was what I loved the most; it was stunning, gorgeous, and dreamy. 🙂
Here’s how my favorite view looked like, thanks to Mr. Daniel Wieczorek for this beautiful photograph I have to borrow. Not from the same location, but pretty much like this!
Visiting M’s mom’s place is like going to art school! That means I spend most of the time with my little playmate, one of M’s two little sisters. We draw greeting cards, color them, make bead bracelets and bead bottles, and design popsicle sticks.
My little playmate also has this big box of cloth scraps, which her granny brought for her. And shuffled among the scraps are three harumika mannequins, which she plays with her mom and her older sister. They usually play the harumika time as a contest; mom never wins and we know why. 😀
One time, my little playmate stayed upstairs playing with her sister. M, as he always is every time we visit his mom’s place, was also stuck at playing his game. And there I was playing, too, with the harumika mannequins, dressing them up in any ways I could come up with. It was fun! I thought I loved every design I pulled off, so I grabbed M’s camera and took shots of them all. Even more fun! 🙂
Here, let me show you! *Click on the sampler photo.*
This photo is linked to my other website, which is a fashion designing website I call DewBerry Fashion Collection. In case you want to check out some of my designs, please feel free to visit. 🙂
Meet Mio! Mio Almohade. She’s my character in Sims Social on Facebook. I’m shopping for her Halloween wardrobe. — Right, she doesn’t look scary at all. HaHaHa. But I prefer she remains pretty and elegant in black and white. Maybe I’ll just add a bit like a headdress or mask, at least anything outlandish. 😀
Meanwhile, the house is -well- “kinda” ready too, I guess. Maybe a bit more for the Halloween party! 😀