Out of…waiting

There’s a couple of reasons to feel “deyyym” good today. Aside from the 38th anniversary celebration of my school organization (in college), it’s my older brother’s 2_th birthday! I’ve drawn two cartoon e-cards and posted them on Facebook for my organization and my brother. It was fun!

For my brother
For my school organization

And it could’ve been more fun, even in the simplest way, had I not been nudged forever by the thought that I’ve been waiting…pretty too long. And I guess I just had all the emotions I needed to make something as sullen as this, out of…waiting.

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Soledad (water-based poster paint)

I’ve been imagining this painting. If you’ve read Something To Paint, I mentioned “a ship’s silhouette on abstract background.” But admittedly, this isn’t exactly the way I’ve painted it on my mind. During the conception of the idea, I was imagining a more sullen ambiance with a higher contrast on the abstract background with the dark tones winning. I saw the ship was that of Jack Sparrow’s Black Pearl rather than one looking only a little bigger than a canoe; the Black Pearl seeming so small against the vastness of the Atlantic. No white light coming from a red moon and born to the ocean waters. No horizon. And so my hand had it its way.

Though long have been painted in my imagination, I never had it brought to life until now, and I know why.

This must be how sad I am. Yet having painted it two tones lighter than how I saw it, I must’ve unknowingly tried to rummage through my sad thoughts to seek for bits of good. And I’ve been trying to betray myself with the comforting thought that I should rather enjoy basking in this self-seeking solitude.

Unfortunately, it’s not solitude I need right now. Not now.

Out of…waiting

On Anna Sprage’s Deviant Art: A Failed Attempt

Deviance is the way to understanding the uncommon in this world. Somehow I believe I’ve pretty lived up to that because I haven’t always been for the norms of the society. Not that I rejoice in everything a deviant mind could offer. Only that I don’t always believe all the norms to be all the good and right.

But this ain’t about deviance and how it shits on the face of the pretentious and the all-knowing. This is just another artwork post. But as to what’s the mention of deviance for….

Anna Sprage, or formally Anna Spradley, is an artist from Houston, Texas. And I’m not to write her biography here, but this should suffice: http://annasprage.com/. I found out about her and her paintings through Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/annasprage). I can’t recall anymore but perhaps her page appeared on the advertisement panel, right side of the screen. If I may cut it short, Anna’s a deviant artist. As far as I’ve scanned through her albums, she paints unrealistic portraits of unrealistic subjects, usually nudist ladies, all looking almost the same.

But I love her concepts! Daring and unpretentious. Maybe they’re not for everyone to correctly interpret or at least understand, but her pieces speak a lot, vulgar indeed of their purposes of having been painted on canvass. Her artworks are not like messy collages painted out of irrational outrage. Rather, her subjects are not-at-all-beautiful ladies looking way too old for their presumed characters. They’re ugly, sunken and sickly, but as free as souls who don’t give a fu**in’ shit on anyone and anything. They’re the mind-your-business-or-die type of ladies. And they’re just as powerful as the kind of deviant art Anna has long mastered.

Now, merely out of impulse of wanting to try something new, I tried her style.

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And I decided success was far from avail.

Not beautiful, passed. Not proportioned, passed. Sunken and sickly, failed. A free soul, failed. God, she’s the face of inhibitions! Deviant, failed. All in all, she looks pretty normal, pretty human except for some intentionally wronged proportions over the eyes.

She’s scared. She’s not vulgar. She’s not the uncommon. She’s not deviance. And so, a failed attempt. But even so, it came out to be another art piece of what too imaginative mind, oftentimes too bossy for my hands. 🙂

On Anna Sprage’s Deviant Art: A Failed Attempt

She’s Wasn’t Officially His

I heard a…

STORY. There’s this girl who’s a little too crazy for this guy a little younger than her. Age ain’t an issue. They work for the same company and for the period of time since they started talking, forms a special kind of friendship. Let’s call that MU – mutual understanding (damn cliche).

And in the name of mad admiration, the girl works her way out to gather the guy’s attention least of all. She wants him to like her, if not adore her. So traditional courtship aside, the girl works her plans costing her a little extra effort and perhaps a dozen more guts, at least at first. She asks him out, invites him over, holds his hand, kisses him, and what, turns a guiltless date around and heats it up. Rewarded for her guts then, the guy’s liking him back. Ace for that!

Now she’s happy and she’s not. She wants to get hooked up but that ain’t synonymous to wanting something official like commitment. She wants dating but not exclusive. She wants fun but nothing serious, definitely nothing serious. She wants a fling, not a boyfriend. Or maybe she wants a boyfriend but not this guy. Because he’s possessive, immature, clingy, and say…assuming. And she’s getting awful sick of it. Because he acts like she’s his girlfriend. And as she says it, this guy’s overreacting to the romance she’s putting up.

No, there ain’t no intention to whack him emotionally. He’s a good guy, way too good for her indeed: good-natured, diligent, friendly and sociable, a gentleman, stable with a job, family-oriented, God-fearing, handsome, not to mention rich. And young. But perhaps there’s an obvious misunderstanding here, if not a change of opinion. The girl now decides she pretty doesn’t want anything to do with the guy.

PAAANG! What do we…

SAY. Blame who now? The guy for unconsciously overreacting to the romance she consciously put up? The girl for making him feel like she was his because on a deeper thought, she pretty much enjoyed bathing in his admiration?

No one perhaps. Or maybe both. This is what people say, “No one is wrong; no one is right.”

No one is wrong.

After all, the guy had half the right and was half sane to feel that way if, in the very first place, that was how she made him feel, like, “Boy, I’m yours”. On the other hand, she couldn’t have seen it coming that he would behave in an unofficial relationship in a way a little too unpleasing. She got choked, you know.

No one is right.

He should’ve taken note what they really were, where he stood. She should’ve slowed down and took time to double-check her thoughts on what was she truly up to. He should’ve known better. She should’ve thought more.

SO. It wasn’t a game, not at all. Maybe an awful mischief of fate. But I felt sorry for the guy ’cause in the end, there was nothing else to say but, “She wasn’t officially yours.”

She’s Wasn’t Officially His

Painting: Midnight Sakura

I cannot recall anymore what rush took over me that day that pushed me to paint again. But I guess it was nothing very fun because the output struck me as something melancholic as this.

“Midnight Sakura” (water-based poster paint)

At first I named this piece Sayonara, but on second thought, I decided the meaning of the Japanese word doubled the weight of the piece’s melancholy. Too much. So I chose one a little lighter – Midnight Sakura. And this is the first scenery piece I’ve painted since high school.

Here’s a quick account though. It was painted using water-based poster paint on a sketch sheet. The poster paint set was all that was left from my collection of coloring materials. 😦 Anyway, the yellow base layer was quite easy. But later on, I found it hard to achieve the expected effect on texture since the material (poster paint) was, unlike acrylic, very thin and it dried awful fast on paper (well, that’s a given). There was a need to buy a dozen more patience to get the right mix of colors. Then I had to cover some of the first few layers because the strokes were too stiff and thick. Matter of fact, the poster paint wasn’t cooperating.

But I was quite decided to finish the artwork anyway so I pushed on. My favorite part was painting the shadowed mountain range surrounding the lake, aside from the white dots or…yes, they’re supposed to be the cherryblossoms or the sakura. I hope you got that though. 🙂

I’d say this piece has a lot of shortcomings but still I feel genuinely delighted to have finished it. I’d say it’s not stunningly beautiful but I believe it’s vulgar enough of what emotion I was working out that time. In the end, having painted this gloomy piece actually served me a platter of content. 🙂

Painting: Midnight Sakura