I lost my best friend to the decision we made long past – to gamble such a beautiful friendship for a love we thought we could survive. We made a pretty long run for it. And all seven years of giving up and fighting for it again, gone now and not a piece of that past seems repairable. Like every broken piece could only hurt.
I am uncertain as to what point I have for writing this. What’s undeniable though is that I miss my best friend and it hurts to realize that time, and perhaps all of the universe, has buried our friendship that was witness to a precious period of the past. I wish we could talk again the way we did, without inhibitions, just frank, but with hugs kept ready in case one had to cry or lose temper.
It’s safe to say that I was everything to my best friend and I liked it, only that I had most of my decisions shadowed by fears, hesitations, and my unacceptance of the reality I was faced with. I lost grip, gave up, and left my best friend fighting alone for nothing. I loved my best friend but this was often tainted with my doubts about the future, our future. I used to imagine it but each time I did, I would end up losing engine at a crossroad; from there I would stop. I chose to.
Now, what more could I ask for my best friend than the happiness deserved. I didn’t stand for what my best friend was fighting for. So maybe this time I could do good in wishing well.
I hope you are happy now. If we meet again one day, you may never hear the same words I used to say. You just have to remember that I loved you in some special way.
Isn’t it very frustrating to just feel the keyboard of your laptop, your fingers wanting to type in beautiful words you just can’t find, then you end up telling how you feel about that instead? Like what I’m saying now.
Nothing really. Just wanted to drop by and try some brain-teaser in hopes of coming up with something sensible to talk about but —errr—clearly, my brain is NR. As in “no reaction.”
So let me wish you all goodnight and sweet dreams. Tomorrow, may my brains find some sense in thinking. Otherwise, that’s bad news for me. Haha!
With a not-very-well-planned last week of July, I headed off to some place this time in the south. It was my first out-of-town with my new circle of friends slash my awesome office-mates.
Let me tell you. These photos don’t bear the epic story of the first half of this trip. Misfortune after misfortune like we had no right to be in the place…at all. Thank the good Lord, we were just too tired to rant over what was going on, and all we could do was laugh at the weekend plans slowly slipping through the midnight and the friggin’ cold mountain air.
So by morning, we only had Sunday left of the weekend and hell yeah, it was all FUN!
Therefore, I conclude, heads up for the next epic weekend outing. July, you were just so awesome!
So I was like gone for a couple of weeks, sleeplessly preparing for our event, which, thank God, turned out very well. And now, I’m back in the “real world”…where I make my way home at the end of the day, find my bed with my pillows and blanket to lull me to sleep, the green and white curtains ever refreshing, the toilet I am most comfortable with…and of course my messy heap of clothes. Make that “very messy”. @_@
Tsa-daaa, there’s my NEW BED!
It’s a couch, I know. It’s new and I got it for FREE, yeyyy!
So after a whole week of five-star living, which I barely felt because of such unbelievable workload, I came home thinking I’d find my bed ready or unready to hug me. But I actually ended up on this comfy couch, which is quite clingy, it wouldn’t let me stand up no matter how hungry I was. I slept and slept and slept on it like there was no tomorrow. In fact, I’ve started this post several hours ago but since my new bed is just right there and I could easily see it…well, I’ve been taking good naps for several hours, too.
So I think I just got myself a new resting place, where I could just throw myself to before heading upstairs for the “real sleep”.
I’m tired but I feel fulfilled. I’m very tired but I have a “new bed” FOR FREE, so who cares? Haha! I’m dead tired but it was aaall worth it. Thank God!